Finding out your child is being bullied online can feel overwhelming, especially because it often follows them home in a way that schoolyard bullying does not. The most useful thing a parent can do in the first moments is to stay calm and steady, since a child is watching your reaction closely to decide whether it was safe to tell you at all.
1. Thank them for telling you
Many young people do not disclose cyberbullying because they fear losing access to their device or phone. Making it clear that telling you was the right call, before anything else, keeps that door open for the future.
2. Do not react by immediately removing the device
Taking away a phone can feel like a punishment to a child, even when it is meant protectively. Where possible, work with your child on the response rather than simply removing their access.
3. Keep the evidence
Take screenshots of messages, posts or comments, including usernames and dates, before blocking or reporting. This evidence is important if you need to escalate to the platform, the school, or authorities.
4. Use the platform's own reporting tools
Most platforms have a reporting function for harassment and bullying. It will not always resolve quickly, but it creates a record and is often a required first step before escalating further.
5. Report to the eSafety Commissioner if needed
If the platform does not act, or the content is serious, Australia's eSafety Commissioner can investigate and has the power to require content to be removed.
6. Loop in the school
If the bullying involves other students, the school's wellbeing team should be told, even if the behaviour is happening outside school hours. Most schools have specific processes for this.
7. Watch for the emotional impact, not just the incident
The immediate incident matters less than how your child is coping afterward. Changes in mood, sleep, or willingness to go online or to school are worth taking seriously, and are a sign to involve your GP or a qualified counsellor. Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) is also available for young people to talk to directly.
How Nhanya Foundation can help
Nhanya Foundation supports families through our child safety commitments and everyday practical support. If you would like to talk through a situation your family is facing, get in touch.
