A child does not need to be physically harmed to be deeply affected by family violence. Hearing arguments through a wall, sensing tension in a home, or seeing a parent frightened or hurt all count as exposure to family violence, and the impact on a child's development and sense of safety can be significant.
How exposure can show up in children
- Increased anxiety, clinginess, or difficulty separating from a parent
- Sleep disturbances, nightmares or regression in younger children (such as toileting setbacks)
- Behavioural changes at school, including difficulty concentrating or increased conflict with peers
- Older children and teenagers may withdraw, become secretive, or take on inappropriate levels of responsibility for younger siblings or a parent's wellbeing
- Some children outwardly appear unaffected, which does not mean the exposure has not had an impact
Why the response matters more than the exposure itself
Research consistently shows that a child's long-term wellbeing is shaped less by the specific incidents they were exposed to, and more by what happens afterward: whether they reach safety, whether the adults around them respond calmly and honestly, and whether they get consistent support to process what happened. This means the period after leaving an unsafe situation is a genuine opportunity to help a child recover, not just a difficult transition to get through.
How adults can help
- Keep explanations honest and age-appropriate, without needing to share every detail
- Maintain routine and predictability wherever possible, since this is genuinely stabilising for children
- Let the child know it was not their fault and they were not responsible for keeping anyone safe
- Involve the school, ideally the wellbeing coordinator, so they can support the child sensitively
- Seek a referral to a child-focused counsellor or family violence support worker with experience in this area
Where to get help
1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) can advise on child-specific support services. Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) is available for children and young people directly.
How Nhanya Foundation can help
Nhanya Foundation supports women, children and families recovering from family violence, including connecting families with appropriate allied health and therapeutic supports. If you would like to talk through your family's situation, contact us.
